Teaching Kids Boundaries

We often talk or hear about “boundaries”. While it’s something we are familiar with as adults, our kids need to be comfortable with this concept as well.

When teaching kids about boundaries, try to explain that these are here to keep us safe, comfortable, and able to speak up for ourselves. It gives them a sense of power when they can say ‘no’ to something they are uncomfortable with. However, unhealthy boundaries may teach children to be disrespectful or to not take accountability.

For example, healthy boundaries for kids may include the following:

• If I am being tickled, I can say ‘stop’ and the person will stop.

• If my friends are speaking unkindly about someone I care about, I can tell them that I would like to change the subject or I can leave the group.

• When I am upset and need to be alone for a bit, I can tell my parents “please give me time to myself” and they will allow it.

• If someone says they don’t like me, I can say “that’s ok to not like me, but it’s not kind to speak that way to people”.

• Saying “I don’t like hugs but how about a high-five?”

Healthy boundaries can teach children to speak up for themselves and find power in who they are. Boundaries can show them the correct way to treat others by noticing how they like to be treated.