How to Deal with Mental Load
While carrying the weight of Invisible Labor, there are things you can do to help decrease the side effects of always doing so much. You can also use these tips to help someone you care about.
Talk about it: Find someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling. Or, if you notice these symptoms in a loved one, simply ask them if they would like to talk. Most moms may not even notice how much the stress of motherhood is affecting them until a friend brings it up.
Let people help you: More often than not, people are willing to share the load of parenting. Whether it’s your spouse, a parent, an older child, or a neighbor, just ask for help. If that person says ‘no’, ask someone else who may be in a better position to support you.
Take care of yourself: “Self-care is love”. What hobbies do you have? Is there a movie or a book that brings you joy? Come back to those things when you need to be re-energized. Practicing self care such as exercise or eating a healthy meal (either made at home or grabbed from a restaurant) are simple ways to take a moment to yourself. Maybe you like to journal. Making a ‘brain-dump’ list is an effective way to get those overwhelming thoughts and tasks onto paper. Then, you can see in black and white what is urgent and what can wait.
Talk to a professional: Maybe you need to reach out to a therapist who can walk you through dealing with the invisible labor of motherhood. You don’t have to make a life-long commitment to therapy but maybe even just a few sessions could help you see things from a different point of view. Trained therapists can teach you coping skills in this part of life and work with you to see growth in the areas that are most important.
Motherhood is such an incredible gift and also a heavy responsibility. But, that burden does not lie on the mother alone. Speak up when you are taking on too much. Ask for help. You were never meant to take on this much by yourself.